*--You ain't the worse!!!--*

Do you feel defeated, depressed or unhappy?

When I first starting coaching clients, I thought people would seek my help because they desired to develop a healthy relationship with themselves and other people. Initially, I was surprised to learn their main objective was not love, but money. Like most people, they thought money would be the answer that solved all their problems. If they had more of it, they would live happily ever after and never have a care in the world.

Not only would money solve their problems, but it would also take away the pain they felt inside. Yes, being financially stable has its many advantages, but if you struggle with negative feelings about who you are and no longer believe in yourself, then all the money in the world will not purchase the inner peace you are looking for.

We often develop our individual worth from other people’s opinion of us. In a world full of imperfect people, this is a serious mistake. Too often we hear how we are not good enough and could never measure up. After a while, many people start believing what they hear. They begin to feel life is overwhelming and downright hard. Emotionally, these people are not healthy. They often struggle with depression, anxiety, loneliness and have an inner sadness that is difficult to explain.

From my experience working with people from all over the world, this problem is global. However, there is a solution. You are not meant to live a life of hardship and pain. You can begin to love yourself from the inside out. Here are three simple steps to start you on this transformational journey.

Step 1: You need to take complete ownership of your life. No matter how difficult your circumstances appear to be, you have the inner power and ability to embrace positive change.

Step 2: You can control your emotions and change your negative self-image. Part of this is realizing your individual worth is never defined by the thoughts and opinions of others. Do not let their negative actions change your inner knowledge that you have unlimited potential.

Step 3: Stop blaming others! You are the authority of your life and responsible for your personal happiness. Positive change will never occur when you place blame on anyone or anything for your misfortune and how you feel inside. Being personally accountable for every aspect of your life will allow you to take control and make the changes you seek. This includes the ability to leave situations that are dangerous and unhealthy.

A new found freedom will occur once you take ownership of your life by embracing the possibilities, no longer listening to the negative opinion of others or placing blame on anyone or anything for your situation. You are now what I call an empowered person and well on your way to loving yourself so you can experience life as it was meant to be. Magnificent! - See more at: http://familyshare.com/how-to-love-yourself-from-the-inside-out-overcome-depression-anxiety-and-self-defeating-behavior-by-taking-ownership-of-your-life!

*----- "Death is a perfect insult."----*

"Never judge on how I died, but how I lived m life before I died, because in the faraway land, it shall also determine where I shall be for ever."
Hogan Cooperland.

To those who lost their lives in the ill fated plane carrying the corpse of late Agagu. How a man dies does not ever matter.

Yes, how tragic the reality of death could be to so man of us, especially the death of a loved one. I have come through life to see people, scared of death, and the question that comes to my mind is 'why?' Why are they scared?
Would you be scared of something you very certain would happen to you?
Wouldn't you rather prepare for it to face it head-long as it comes?
Maybe the rather pertinent question is: 'is death real?' Yes, I'd say if I am to answer the question in haste. Perhaps it might seem so hash to say directly that we were born to die and live again in the world beyond, which is best described b the Holy Bible as 'Eternity' and of course if would be the longest life a man can ever live, then it should also defend the existence of man.

Hence, man was made for eternity, man was born to die.

Following this holy truth therefore, it does not matter in an way how a man dies. What matters and shall ever matter is how he lived his life here on earth and shall determine where he shall spend his life here after. The reality of this truth has transcended me into that realm of inner strength and put.

I am not afraid to die.

Why should I? When I know for sure that we must all certainly die? As the age of a man is chronologically numbers mere, so is the age of a man when he dies. And should I sit down worrying my head on how my burial should look like when am gone. Who cares about in eternity?

Thank God for Jesus, who died that we might be saved. Who has gone to prepare a place for us, that where He is there we might be also. Who cares about death where there is such a promise like this, and although I , may not be able to lay grips on questions like why am here, why was I made to die even in the most uncertain way and a lot of others, yet would the certainty of His promise satisfy me.

There is some truth to the old saying, “There are only two things you can count on in life: death and taxes.” Everyone experiences death. Death and dying are an inevitable part of human life.

Some people know ahead of time when their death will occur. Terminal illnesses, when diagnosed ahead of time, allow a person to set his or her affairs in order, make relationships right, and say goodbye to loved ones. In these cases, every person involved has a chance to gradually adjust and make peace with death, as much as possible. However, not everyone has this chance. Many deaths occur suddenly. Death can, and often does, strike without warning.

No one is promised tomorrow. The only thing we can count on is today.

"Death is a perfect insult."

Many people try to be numb to this suffering. In the rush of details that fill our life, we may find temporary distraction. In the beliefs that we hold, we look for consolation. But turning away from the reality of Love Itself, even through distraction or belief, is turning away from the only possibility of going beyond our mortal predicament.

Somehow, we must receive the "insult" and still grow in love.

There are times when the loss of a loved one brings us face to face with this starkness. Then our strategies of distraction and consolation no longer work. We feel again the raw fact that has always been our situation. Even the many small endings in our life (and the beginnings as well) remind us that no thing and no one will last, no matter how much we love them.

Whatever we believe about death (and what happens after death), its inescapable nature is not in debate. But knowing that death is a universal requirement does not end our predicament - it only pushes our need to understand what life is all about, what its purpose is, to the fore.

On Love and Death, Cooperland also said: "Love is a great knowledge in human intimacies, but it is a terrible knowledge, simultaneously. Love moves you beyond the usual insult of mortality, but it takes place in the context of mortality. At the same time that love relieves you, in some respects, of the insult of mortality, it also makes the suffering of mortality more profound.

"So, to love any one is a terrible "problem" - friend, intimate, child, mother, father. To love at all is to be confronted with the terrible nature of mortality."

"With great difficulty! In My opinion, death should not be faced. Death should be transcended, like everything else. When you become involved in your mind with death, making much of death and thinking about death, then you become more and more worried.

"You think that because you are sixty-seven, death is much more important than when you were twenty-five, or fifty even, and it is not true. You should be sensitive to the possibility of death even from your youth or your childhood.

"The knowledge of death, however it may come to you through life's experience, should become the wisdom of ego-transcending practice - because you understand that death is not any different from all the other limited conditions of existence."

Death is utterly acceptable to consciousness and life. There has been endless time of numberless deaths, but neither consciousness nor life has ceased to arise. The felt quality and cycle to death has not modified the fragility of flowers, even the flowers within the human body.

Therefore one's understanding of consciousness and life must be turned to That Utter, Inclusive Truth, That Clarity and Wisdom, That Power and Untouchable Gracefulness, That One and Only Reality this evidence suggests.

One must cease to live in a superficial and divided way, seeking and demanding consciousness and life in the present apparent form, avoiding and resisting what appears to be the end of consciousness and life in death.

*--How To Overcome sexual Immorality in the Church Today!--*

Flee all Appearances of Evil!

To read the prequel click here:
if you can not please you have no business being a christian or even in the clergy for Christ's Sake.

*--The Church and Sex!--*

After following the pathetic story of Ese walter and the sex scandal with the senior pastor of the COZA ministries, Abuja, Nigeria, and as it is part of the values of "Our Daily Experiences," drawing lessons from failures and successes, I have decided to air my view and also bring out the most lessons that should be learnt from such occurrences like this other than sitting down and castigating and tearing down in worthless derision. I have read almost all the stories and comments, some condemning and ask for condemnation and slanders and some sticking to Christ's mercy and ask for no condemnation because maybe if He where here He wouldn't have condemned but may have forgiven.

My question is, is there not a solution to the menace of sexual immorality in the churches?

To read Ese's story, click here.

Now:
In every challenges, there is a way out! To every diseases, there is a cure(at least). So also to every societal ill, there should be a final solution blueprint laid down for all to follow. And like the bible which forms that blue print for us Christians, when any of such is broken, then we know we gone wrong and should re-trace our ways. The basic here is the rule and not the fall. When we stick to the fall, we shall of course soon fall again, but when we stick to the rules, then it becomes hard to fall.

Differentiating the people from the religion, reality from the hatchet of callous dogmas and surreal fantasies and fanaticisms that have rather sank the laity, leading the clergy into a deep abyss of dungeon in self oblivion and spiritual uncanny is the state of spiritual literacy in our present country and world as a whole. No wonder the ones we've so much looked up to would continue to plummet.

I have said this before in one of my articles and will say it all again: "Just being born again may not transform you into some other kind of person automatically." Just being born again does not in any way transform the physical being of a man. It does not enhance his emotional and biological tendencies, it does not change his innate wellness, it only gives him the right attitude and atmosphere to connect to the Almighty and Most Holy God who have not sinned to provide that supernatural connection to the celestial realm that helps him not so focus on the physical realm around him. This is what I mean and I like keeping it real: When a man is born again, when he goes to the office after he must have given his life to Jesus Christ by confessing his sins and acknowledging them and confessing them and asking God for grace to live a life free from sins, all those he's been once involved and may have formed a habit in him, it does not in any way stop the secretary from coming to work yet in her 'dare-not-look mini skirks.'

Never!

It does not stop his emotional, psychological and biological hormones to react to the intrusions of his environment, it only helps him in such situations to yet focus on the spiritual at such times, perhaps reflecting on the bible passage he read that morning, or on heaven or some other spiritual stuffs.

Note:

It was sure the same God who he has given his very life to in the being born again that also have given him those biological sensitiveness. As a matter of fact, biologically, if he does not react to those intrusions, he is considered to be defect. He must react. Now here is the thing.

The foundation and whole essence of man from the perspective of his weaknesses may never be so explained in the socio-psychological aspect of his wellbeing. Okay, we all should be happy and accept the very fact that we are here in this world in good fate and like we all say is never by mistake. We are all here for a reason, although most of us never know an iota of the reason before getting out of the same world, most times misteriously and without any consent just like we have all come.


Man is a pathetic being, he does not call the shots in all aspects of his life. One who's whole essence and definition is reclined on the verge of the Divine Infinite Knowledge(God!).
He does not know why he was born and should just live it out and never bother to find why. It's been pre-scripted, else he should have been given a life map at birth.

He also was born with a particular sin!

Jesus said: "Let him who have not sinned be the first to cast a stone." What does that mean? Also Job said: "I was sharpen in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me." Paul said: "Also I find in me a law... so that the things I would not that I do."
These point to one thing, so that the next time you are giving birth, you must realize that you are giving birth to first, an armed robber, a hypocrite, a prostitute, a liar, an adulterer, a moralist etc. what he becomes next is a factor of Grace, Mercy and also the influences around him.

And even after he gives his life to Christ, he should not in any case forget where he crawled out from. Else he will plummet just again and maybe even worse. What should he do therefore?
which is my message to the church today? Although I shall be answering this only in the aspect of sexual sins in the society and church today.

Read Here >>

*--Ese and the COZA Sex Scandal--*

Please note that it is not in the ethics of this blog to gossip or raise a finger on individuals in the society but in reference to the author's view on "The Church and Sex," that this article is  raised.

This article contains stories that most ‘church people’ don’t want to address. So, if you are one of those living in denial and covering up crap going on in the church, this is where you should stop reading. Thanks for stopping by.**************************************************************************Now, for the rest of us, please sit down and switch on your open mind.
I want to talk about something I have kept bottled up inside for longer than necessary. I
have also decided to use real names, as my defense for any accusation of slander is justification. I tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. However, feel free to throw your doubt around but know that I am past the shaming game (where victims of abuse are shot down by blame) I am no longer a victim but a survivor who is sharing her experience to help others caught in same web of abuse, guilt and shame. We only get to live once right? So here, it goes…
I met Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo many years ago. I was getting bored of the church I was attending and someone suggested COZA.
At the time, I had never heard about it. My friend said, go there, I’m sure you would enjoy the word. But he also gave me a strong warning. He said he would advice that I remain a member only and not join the workforce. I agreed.
The first time I attended COZA, I felt it was my church and decided I was going to plant my Bottom there. About eleven months had gone by and I was still attending the services quietly and faithfully. I really did like the church.
One day a worker in the church approached me that the senior pastor wanted to see me. Me? I thought. Why would the senior pastor want to see me? Not the second man but the head nigga in charge? Ok na! I started to think my sin was oozing so bad the pastor could tell I needed Jesus. (Poor old me.)
I saw him at the end of the second service (they had two services at the time) and he said to me that he would like me to work with him. I knew I had no intentions of becoming a pastor so I had to ask in what capacity. He said he’d like for me to join a department, preferably the Pastoral Care Unit (PCU).
A few weeks later, against my friend’s advice not to join the workforce, I was a PCU member. All of a sudden, I had some status in church. I was ‘somebody.’ Dress had to be on point, hair, shoes and what not… As workers, we were literally trying to outshine each other or so it seemed. Anyways, I felt like I was a privileged member of an elite circle. Hehehe. (It did feel good though, for the most part.)
About a year after joining the workforce, I was on my way to London for a Masters degree program that would last two years. As was the rule for workers travelling, I wrote to say I would be away for 2 years and Pastor Biodun Fotoyinbo asked that I keep in touch by sending him my number and email when I had settled in London so he “makes sure I continue in the faith” because according to him, people loose their faith when they leave home and he wanted to make sure I didn’t.
So, on that note, as soon as I got a phone line in London, I was sure to call ‘my pastor’ to say I arrived safe, had settled in and also gave my phone number.
One evening, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo called me that he was coming to London and needed me to help him make some hotel bookings as the person who was meant to do it couldn’t get it done (this was rather strange as I had never been involved in his travel itinerary).
Later that day, he said it had been sorted and my help would not be required but that he would like me to arrange a cab to pick him up from Heathrow. I was happy to help my pastor from Nigeria and even saw it as a privilege. (I would later come to learn that all of this was a calculated attempt to hatch a plan that I suspect was set in motion when I was asked to join the workforce.)
The cab guy was there to get him the next day and when he arrived, he called to ask why I didn’t accompany the cab to pick him up (again, this was strange but I stopped my mind from overanalyzing the situation as I knew I had no business with his visit to London)
About two hours later, he called me and said he would like to see me. When I arrived his hotel, I called from the reception but he asked that I come upstairs. I got to the room and tried to stop my mind from thinking why I was going to his room.
As he opened the door and invited me in, I had to speak to my heart to stop its palpitations. My better judgment asked me not to go into the room but the kind of reverence I had for Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo bordered on fear as I stepped into that room.
“Care for a drink?” Asked Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo.“No sir,” I said.“You don’t have to be shy Ese, even if it’s alcohol, feel free and order what you want.” I wasn’t sure I heard my pastor asking me to order alcohol. I imagined it was a test and ignored the voice inside that was saying, “I’d have henny and coke please.”
He proceeded to ask how I had been coping in London and if I was a committed member of any church. He also said he thought there was something special about me and wanted to know that I had not strayed from my faith. I really thought he had heard I was doing something I shouldn’t while in London but tried my best to focus on the conversation instead of my straying thoughts.
He kept telling me to relax and feel comfortable with talking to him. After a few minutes, he asked that we go to the roof of the hotel as his room was a pent suit and had a connecting door to the roof.
While there, he sat on a reclining chair and asked me to come sit on his laps. This was a bit awkward for me and I froze for a moment as I asked why. He said he had told me to feel free with him and loosen up. I found myself strolling to sit on his laps. At that moment, I felt like a little girl who was experiencing something her mind couldn’t fathom.
He asked me to kiss him and all I could think about was seeing him preach on the pulpit back in COZA Abuja, Nigeria, which was my home church. He again said ‘feel free Ese.’ And asked again, that I kiss him.
A few hours later, let’s just say, we were rolling under the sheets. It felt as though my mind had paused. I am not saying I was jazzed, (although it’s possible I was in some trancelike state and didn’t know it but I just was so afraid that I couldn’t say or think otherwise.) That was the beginning of this affair. A intimate affair that went on for a little over a week, DAILY!
At some point, I got really confused about what Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I were doing that I had to ask how he handles it. I will never forget what he said to me. He said and I quote,
“I will teach you a level of grace that you don’t understand.”
My mind couldn’t fathom that somehow grace was enough covering for not just fornication on my path, adultery on his path and the many lies that was bound to follow what we were doing that was clearly abominable. I somehow dealt with the thoughts and fears that followed on my path.
He had said to me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and he would take me around the world and spoil me with money and things. Somehow, money had never been one of the things that motivated me (I am from a home where all my needs have been adequately met) In all my ‘badness’ through finding myself, I never did things I did for money but more of rebellion against rules and authority.
Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo also said to me that he had a dream where I exposed what was happening to the media. Said it was all over the place and that people were calling me the girl that caused chaos in COZA. He also said I should remember the bible said to “touch not God’s anointed.” I immediately started to rebuke the devil and said I could never do anything like that. I was almost swearing with my entire family as I thought really I had touched God’s anointed by submitting my body to be used. Little did I know at the time that all of these were ways to mess with my mind and even manipulate my thoughts.
Fast-forward a few months later, I was back in Nigeria and my church had become uncomfortable. Anytime I sat in church and listened to Pastor Biodun preach, I felt shame. I finally sent him a message saying I wasn’t comfortable anymore.
I was confused and needed to talk about what had happened. He said I should meet him to talk and I did. It was a really weird meeting for me especially when he tried to kiss me at our meeting. I finally realized at this point that he couldn’t help me. I thought God was angry with me and I couldn’t pray so I decided to withdraw completely from COZA.
This was the beginning of my mental torture. I couldn’t talk to my family because already, I was the only one attending a different church and somehow my mom never liked the idea. As the days went by I tried to use drinking and smoking to cover up the deep shame and guilt I was battling with. But as soon as the high was over, the thoughts came back and I felt stuck like I couldn’t move forward.
I felt I had to talk to someone and I decided to speak to my then good friend, Ernest Akale but unfortunately for me, Mr. Ernest did not have the capacity to hold what I said to him. He broke down completely the days that followed and I found myself having to pause how I was feeling and what I was struggling with to help my friend be strong. After a while, he withdrew from not just me but his then fiancé and friends. I had to then tell the fiancé what had caused it (she suspected we were having an affair so I had to clear the air)
To my surprise she was a lot stronger than her man and told me to suck it up (I’m paraphrasing). She said if she were me, she wouldn’t leave the church but stay to torment Pastor Biodun and collect money from him. Ok! That sounded extreme for me, as my intention was not to blackmail but to heal my broken self.
Anyways, I finally found the courage to speak to my then unit head who said he was going to talk to Pastor Biodun but didn’t have the liver to do so. Before long, the story was spreading and naturally getting twisted.
I went to a new church and it seemed like the COZA bug had chased me there. The pastor would always refer to COZA as some example and each time that was done, it seemed like a spear was thrust through my chest. One day, I broke down in the service and started crying uncontrollably, as I couldn’t take another mention of COZA and the pictures it painted in my head.
Very long, boring story cut short, for the last 5 months I gave the whole church thing a big space and break. I wasn’t sure I believed in God. I wasn’t sure I understood what it meant when people said ‘Jesus saves” and I definitely wasn’t sure how to deal with the mental torture that was affecting not just me but my relationships with family and friends. I was very unstable, fearful and worst of all guilty.
I got a chance to talk to Pastor Folarin of COZA Lagos Chapter, popularly called Pastor flo about everything. I made an effort to reach out to him because I realized the right thing to do was talk to an elder in the church and seek some sort of remedy to a wrong I believed had been done me. Instead, Pastor Flo said, Pastor Biodun had confessed to him and they had ‘talked’ about it and somehow that was supposed to be Ok.
He asked what it was I wanted coming to talk to him about it when I did, I told him I realized what happened between Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I was wrong and not just that I felt abused and manipulated. I also said I thought it was wrong for Pastor Biodun to go on preaching without taking time to deal with his personal character flaws. I said I thought he was danger to all the young women that attended the church.
Come to think of it, maybe he meant if I wanted something monetary or material (as someone had suggested when I opened up to her) but the truth is, I never wanted his money (or is it the church member’s money.)
All I wanted was to meet with him and have him accept that he misled me, betrayed his wife and the church he pastors. I wasn’t the only lady in COZA who had been a victim of his sexcapades and manipulative patterns but I was the one who could come back after months of struggle with not just my faith but also my affair with him. And I wanted to set things right. I wanted to talk to Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo maybe for closure and I felt like I needed an apology because he played the “touch not my anointed” card to keep me locked in guilt, shame and fear when all along it was a calculated plan and I dare say, it started when he asked me to join the workforce.
Not to mention the audacity to talk about teaching me a level of grace I didn’t understand. I had no intention of understanding a grace that would permit me to go on doing things that were wrong and what’s worse having to carry the burden for almost a year.
Different surprising advises came up in the weeks that followed the rumour making rounds. I was told to hush because Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo had been a cultist in the past and could send people to shut me up. All my so-called friends in COZA withdrew from me and treated me like I had the plaque.
What was worse was Pastor Flo finally saw my then pastor to ‘talk’ about what had happened with Pastor Biodun and lied that it happened once and was a mistake.
My question then became, ‘do these people even care how broken I had become?’ ’do they care about the emotional and spiritual welfare of the people they were pastoring?’ The sad answer was NO. Most of us old members of COZA kept leaving but they couldn’t care less. What was important was to keep growing the church and having more and more cars with stickers that read “More than enough.”
Back then, I always felt horrible when I saw another car drive past me with the sticker. I was breaking, I was struggling but no one could help. All they could do was ask me to hide so Pastor Biodun’s goons don’t hurt me.
And then the interesting one was if I had evidence to prove my claim. Let me just say here that, it isn’t a claim, it’s a confession to free me from all of the guilt and shame I have had to live with for no reason at all. (That being said, I have evidence to prove all I have said here, the latest being a 58 minutes recording of my meeting with Pastor Flo a few months back)
This is my confession and I cannot begin to describe how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders just pouring the truth out about what went down. So, to all my ex COZA friends gossiping about me, get your facts right.
To those who said they’d help me deal with the pain but didn’t, I forgive you, I have learnt how to deal with it and I am doing just fine. To those who fear for my safety saying Pastor Biodun would send people to shut me up, I really have gone past fearing for my life. To live is gain and to die is Christ (or how does Paul say it again?)
And to the only person who ever supported me through it all, thank you, I am learning to be brave. Please don’t think I am perfect in all of this but in line with living my authentic life and putting all forms of abuse behind me, this is where I press the stop button and stop the bleeding. This is where I break the silence and call the church to stand up for what it has been commissioned to do.
If you will not enter the Kingdom, please don’t stop others who are trying to enter.I still remember when I used to nurse the idea of digging up emails, text messages, hotel billings (as once I used my card to pay for his room when his master card failed to work) to prove there was an affair. It was pathetic. Why for the love of heaven was I trying to dig up evidence? I am satisfied setting the record straight. I am ready for any shaming or bashing that would follow because the truth is, because of what I have suffered and come through, I am really not moved by what people say or think about me anymore.
I am a stronger woman and a damn abuse survivor seeking to connect with other victims of abuse to show them how to deal with the shame, hurt and guilt and how to come out stronger. Turning their mess into their message.I am Ese Walter and I have gone through all forms of abuse from family, boyfriends, my ex pastor and some strangers not to break me, but so I stand and so I qualify to help victims. My scars have qualified me and when all is said and done, I will still be standing. I AM WOMAN, I BEND, I DON’T BREAK!
Cheers to the freaking weekend!!!

*----6 Steps to Successful Elevator Pitch-----*

I remembered the first time hearing the word, "Elevator Pitch," and kept wondering why that should be any topic of discussion. We all have in one point or the other, been in an elevator and maybe have a short conversations with the persons on board, but here suggests a different kind of discussion.

Till I had a privilege to have a discussion with the Country Manager of Oracle/Java for Africa Coorporation that I got to know that these great people were that time conscious and that any got to do with them, especially from young mentees, was tied to time. Very vital, and so how would you present that beautiful business idea of yours to such a great personality in a very time? How would you pass the message that have been burning in your very heart to share with the person on the first opportunity you have, probably now you are only privileged to only meet them in an elevator? These are the questions that need expertise answers on the issues of elevator pitch.    

Whether you are out at an entrepreneurship conference, mingling with friends, or you just so happen to know somebody who knows somebody who's able to help you take your company to the next level, you'll get this question: "What do you do for a living?" Or, "what is your company about?"

This is the perfect opportunity, not to necessarily "sell" your business but to make people want to know more about you and your company. The infamous "Elevator Pitch" was created for just such an occasion.

An elevator pitch is a conversation, or an ice breaker, that will (hopefully) lead into a deeper dialogue about the functionality, and specialty, of what you and your company can offer.

In practice you typically have just 60 seconds to leave an exciting, impactful and meaningful impression with whomever you come in contact with. So make them count.

Here are 5 tips that can help you develop your pitch:

1. Make them care. People can be kind, loving and caring, but sometimes it really comes down to answering that oh-so-pivotal question: "What can you do for me?" To get to this point, introduce yourself and address a problem right out of the gate. Explain the benefits your company can offer, which is ultimately a real solution. Personalize this person's problem into a question and give them the best solution: your company.

Related: Why You Need to Get Out of Town Now

2. Make it easy to join. If you have worked with some big name brands already, or even the competitors of the person that you are pitching to, don’t be afraid to mention that. It shows that you have credibility and you are growing. If this person's competition isn't using your service or products, the question is, why not? To an investor, being able to point customers -- especially high-profile ones -- shows traction.

3. Leave them wanting more. Elevator pitches are meant to be short, so don't try to pack in too much. Give just a couple of details but nothing that can be internalized as confidential. Explain your expertise, why you are best suited for the execution and a general overview. There is no non-disclosure agreements signed at the beginning of a pitch. The secret sauce should be saved for later. All you're required to do is be able to confidently broadcast that you know exactly what you're doing.

Related: How to Raise Money Guide

4. Have a call to action. You did this pitch for a reason right? No matter if you wanted to snag an investment or gain a new client or employee, let your goals be known. If you are raising money, communicate how much you want and how much equity you're willing to part with. If you're trying to win over an employee or a client, let them know exactly what you want from them.

5. Be natural. Get comfortable with your pitch. You don’t want to sound like a pre-recorded program. Have passion, yet show some restraint. Most of all, relax! If you stumble that is totally fine, smile and start over. Practice as much as you can eventually you will find the perfect pitch for you.

6. Test yourself. We can't all pitch for the big leagues right away. As such, it's good to get as much feedback as possible. I had the opportunity to pitch to Amanda Steinberg (Founder, DaliyWorth) and Norm Brodsky (Inc. Magazine Columnist) on MSNBC’s Your Business. They gave great feedback on my pitch on what I can do differently, how to make it better and if I would get a second meeting with them.

*--How Active is Your Brain?--*

I have come through this life and have seen too many dull souls. People are now being re-occupied with so much irrelevancies and things that are not beneficial to their very well beings when the relevant and so basic societal informations that are needed for the common man is very lacking in them.

Imagine someone at an international level asking, what is 'BBM'?
Someone answering, the name of her country is Port-Elizabeth.

They lack the time to develop their mental capacity and brain power when one hour of increased brain activity via innovative thinking or experiencing new stimuli can actually make them smarter, more energetic, more creative, more sociable, and more open to new experiences and ways of thinking. The key ingredients are to be open to new experiences and to make changes in previous ways of thinking about these experiences. Here are some of the endless numbers of activities that can stimulate your brain.

1. Don’t allow yourself any dead time. While waiting (in line at the bank, a coffee shop, a restaurant, the grocery store, or waiting for someone to pick you up, or a show on TV to start), ponder things, calculate, and memorize. You can, for example, memorize digits of pi (you can get to 50 in a matter of hours, 200 in a matter of weeks), try to remember all

of your high school teachers' names, memorize prime numbers, get good at reciting the alphabet backwards, learn the Greek alphabet (forwards and backwards), remember how many movies Tom Cruise has been in, or try doubling numbers (1, 2, 4, 8, 16…) until they become challenging. You can even try doubling numbers visually, as in picturing one simple object (like a marble), then two, then four, and so on. (A good way to do this is to imagine the objects in a grid or on a circle.)

2. Reflect on your own belief system. Every decision you make in life is based on your belief system. To open your mind, start to list your fundamental beliefs, and for each one ask yourself why you believe it. Then ask yourself whether you could imagine being you if you didn't exactly believe it anymore, but believed something marginally different.

Then marginally different from that. Pick a belief a week and work at it. Ask some really good friends what they believe and how they acquired their beliefs. Understand this: your belief system is absolutely unique to you; your friend's belief system is unique to them. An open mind is comfortable with differences and with using a variety of lenses to view an issue.

3. Push the limits of your body. By using your body in new ways, you can learn more about yourself and expand your mind. Walk backwards through your whole house for a completely new spatial perspective (being careful not to trip over anything or fall down the stairs). Learn to do a handstand, backflip, or a kip-up. Take martial arts classes. Try some hip-hop classes or learn a breakdance move. Can you touch your toes? Work on it. Try skiing, snowboarding, jet skiing, hang gliding, parasailing, surfing, and anything else that pushes the limits of your comfort zone!

- Learn to spin a pencil around your thumb, solve a Rubik's Cube, or try cup-stacking]]. Don't know what something is? Look it up!

- Learn to juggle. A great workout for your brain, eyes and reflexes. Are three balls too easy? Try four, or better yet, five. If you get extremely good, try 10! 20! 50! Think it's impossible? Keep an open mind. Try contact juggling for a different challenge.

- Try a new physical sensation. Take a dip in a glacial lake or a hot spring.

4. Stimulate your eyes. Go to a cheap or free art gallery. Even if you think it's bad art, it can still be thought-provoking and introduce you to people with different tastes from your own. Watch movies or shows in genres that you don't normally explore.

- Immerse yourself in cyberpunk, horror, anime, documentaries, stand-up comedy (Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Louis CK, etc.), or anything else you haven’t gotten around to trying (and potentially loving).

- Watch shows that you discriminate against. Do you hate (or think you’d hate) the O.C.? Make a point of trying it once or twice. Do the same with a soap opera, science fiction, or fantasy show. Watch the Spanish channels, religious channels, the Discovery, Travel, or Disney Channel, even if only for a few days.

- Try not watching any TV for two weeks. Fill your newfound free time with new and exciting activities.

5. Stimulate your ears. Listen to music you haven't had much exposure to, such as classical, new age, zouk, rap, hip-hop, drum and bass, dubstep, trance, metal, jazz, exotica, polka, international, mariachi, country, or Afro-blues. You don't have to like it at first, but if you keep an open mind, you can still find it interesting. Listen to a radio station you typically don't listen to or use an online music player such as Pandora that will expose you to new artists based on your proposed interests.

6. Learn about different people and lifestyles. A great gateway into this is Wikipedia, where you can read articles on a wide variety of practices, such as BDSM, swinging, Wicca, Christianity, the Green Party, conservatism, communism, anarchism, Sunnis, discordianism, Tutsis, and the Amish. Consider how many members they have worldwide. Volunteer with an organization that works with a community of people you are unfamiliar with.

7. Learn something new. Take unusual classes at a community college or community-based educational program near you: pick up a catalog and open your mind to learning things like art history, basket-weaving, first-aid training, or business ethics.

Your local university likely offers easy survey courses with no prerequisites, such as meteorology, nutrition, or Japanese pop culture. You could even find unexpected topics such as Vampires and Werewolves. Learn different languages (Norwegian, Esperanto, Japanese, French, Arabic, Italian, Finnish, Saami, Chinese, Navajo, etc.), especially those with roots very different from your own. The internet is a great place to find obscure classes cheaply or for free. Look for free lectures on YouTube or KhanAcademy.org.

8. Learn something new. Take unusual classes at a community college or community-based educational program near you: pick up a catalog and open your mind to learning things like art history, basket-weaving, first-aid training, or business ethics.

Your local university likely offers easy survey courses with no prerequisites, such as meteorology, nutrition, or Japanese pop culture. You could even find unexpected topics such as Vampires and Werewolves. Learn different languages (Norwegian, Esperanto, Japanese, French, Arabic, Italian, Finnish, Saami, Chinese, Navajo, etc.), especially those with roots very different from your own. The internet is a great place to find obscure classes cheaply or for free. Look for free lectures on YouTube or KhanAcademy.org.

- Learn to read and write any language that you don't know. Here are a few ideas: Norwegian, Portuguese, Spanish, German, Italian, Arabic, Aramaic, Mandarin, Maltese, Cantonese, Russian, Finnish, Latin, Welsh and Dutch.

- Learn to count in a different numeral base than the one you're used to (chances are you're using decimal), use binary (base 2), octal (base 8), duodecimal (base 12), hexadecimal (base 16), vigesimal (base 20 used in Mayan numerals) or another numeral system. When you start getting familiar with basic operations, try converting from one system to another. Next, mix different systems in a single operation. Throw in some of this or that and one day you might be able to multiply rot13-encoded hexadecimal by xor'ed vigesimal.

- Learn classical cipher schemes and algorithms. Encode and decode using the Vigènere cipher, a Bible cipher, or your own code.

9. Explore other cultures and religions. Start by trying new foods. Have you had sushi? What about Vietnamese? Mediterranean? Indian? Native-American? Cajun?

Have you ever tasted a boba? A shot of wheatgrass? Have you smoked a hookah or eaten durian or the Filipino delicacy, balut? While you’re at it, attend churches, synagogues, mosques, temples, trade union meetings, and meditations.

10. Face your fears. Are you computer-illiterate? Putz around on a computer for a while. Don't be scared. You won't break anything. Learn a programming language. Nothing is as hard as anyone makes it out to be. Build your own computer. Think it's hard? You'll never know until you actually do it. It's somewhat ridiculous how many how-to's there are on building a computer.

*---How To Be Open Minded and Accommodating---*

Okay, I have come through life and discovered like my previous self, so many people who are yet tied to the myopic aprons of their self worth, values, education, career, religion, so much that they think so awkwardly that they are the best set of people on the earth and wish everyone other one like them on earth should just be like them.

What a wimp!

They think God is a fool? Or as haulghty as they are?

They never realise that the most beautiful life lies in the realm of us accommodating those who are not in our primary circles. Letting them in and learning from their perspectives. Sometimes I just seat and wonder how it would have been if God had made us all the same kinda people in all ways, character, personality, wealth and all. How boring the world would have been.

Well, here's a little anidote:

One hour of increased brain activity via innovative thinking or experiencing new stimuli can make you smarter, more energetic, more creative, more sociable, and more open to new experiences and ways of thinking. The key ingredients are to be open to new experiences and to make changes in previous ways of thinking about these experiences. You know, one of the most critical aspects or components of making sure that you’re having a mindset that is set towards building wealth for yourself is making sure that you are open minded. The reality is that you never know where your next idea is going to come from; your next contact or your next income stream. Many people dislike people who are defensive about their opinions and if you start arguments with people regularly, consider that MAYBE you're a closed minded person. If you're looking on how to become more open-minded, read on.

1. Don't be too quick to judge people or information.

2. Remember, your opinion IS NOT the only one.
Be open to new ideas, new innovations, a new world of possibilities, etc. The world isn't always the way it's written in books.

3. Be on the lookout for how new contacts, information, or tools can help to move you closer to your goals.

4. Be creative about the applications and uses for new tools and information

5.Think about different ways that new contacts, information, and tools can be incorporated into what you are already doing.

6. Think about how these same things may create completely new opportunities for you altogether.

7.Talk with people about your experiences. When they put in their opinions on things, think to yourself "I never thought about it that way" or "I wonder if they are right, and I am wrong". Discussion is key. Arguments can weaken relationships and give you a bad reputation.

8. Read a lot of contradictory books about a same subject. You'll see there's not only one way to understand things.

*---How to Discover Yourself and be Yourself----*

I have come through life and find out that most people in life just go through life like life itself were some other shell or some other container. They end up living double lives. They are in their shells and find it very difficult to break out. They find it very difficult to break out and come out and live the very lives they are supposed to live. They are trapped.

Ashleigh Brilliant said: Due to circumstances beyond my control I am master of my fate and captain of my soul.

Today, at this very moment, what is your life like? Do you have a life plan, or are you, like most of us, simply flying by the seat of your pants? Time waits for no man - or woman. Figure out what is truly important in your life. It is the first step towards taking charge.

a. You are responsible for your own destiny so just do only such things which will help you in achieving your aim.
Remember, there is no harm in writing something down. You can choose not to share it, destroy it, edit it, or simply keep it a secret.

b. Being honest does not mean being brutal. Everybody has shortcomings and difficulties. The best athlete or singer in the world could be a terrible writer. See an honest identification and evaluation of problems as a stepping stone to solving them, not as a reason to berate yourself.

c. If you don't know where to begin, try taking a personality test (see external links). They cannot discover you by themselves, but they can lend some insight about your nature to help get you started.

d. If you have enough objectivity and insight into yourself, and are honest with yourself, you might have to admit that your life is ordinary, and is only about living and getting by. There is nothing wrong with that, since this is simply a part of the human condition.

1. Choose a focus for your introspection. Good ones include goals, career, money, family, spirituality, and love.

2. Set some time aside for yourself. Get up earlier or later than your family, or find a quiet space where you can sit and think. Some people think better while doing some other simple task (such as laundry) or while walking. Find out what works for you.

3. Take stock. What is your life all about? What is your purpose in it? What are you good at? What could you improve?

4. Be objective. Self-reflection and assessment can be a very emotional matter, but try to be detached.

5. Be specific. What have you accomplished, why did you do it? What would you like to accomplish? What bothers you? Why does it bother you? What do you like about yourself?

6. Keep things in perspective. So you haven't won your Nobel Peace Prize yet. Neither have most of the rest of us. You're only human, and nobody, including yourself, should expect perfection of you.

7. Write things down. Putting something in words helps you to be specific. You can write in whatever way you feel comfortable expressing yourself, be it lists, notes, cartoons, drawings, or maps. If you're not a writer, consider talking into a tape recorder or recording your thoughts some other way.

8. Consider the good and the bad, both. One way businesses do this is with a "SWOT" diagram. Take four pages or sections of a page and write in them the following

Strengths. What are you best at? What do you love doing and do just for the passion of it? What do others compliment you on or tell you you're good at? Once you have these listed, consider how you can make them even better, or use them to your advantage.

Weaknesses. What do you dislike? What doesn't work too well for you? Focusing on the negative can put things into perspective. Once you have listed your weaknesses, you can choose whether to try to improve upon these areas or let them go. If it matters that you're not a strong swimmer, make plans to improve. If not, at least you know your limitations and can stay in the shallow end of the pool.

Opportunities. These may go hand in hand with your strengths. At a personal level, an opportunity isn't just the potential to make money. Rather, consider where you could make a difference, satisfy your own needs (for instance, to create), or simply improve yourself. Opportunities could be based on how you could use your strengths or how you could improve upon your weaknesses.

Threats. What could undermine those opportunities, derail your hopes or sidetrack your success, whatever you define those to be? The purpose for listing these is twofold. First, identifying them allows you to see them more clearly. The known is less threatening than the unknown. Second, it allows you to address those risks. Some risks are beyond our control, but many can be lessened or at least planned for.

*--YouWin's 10Million naira's Grant, now out!--*

What Is YouWiN!? YouWiN! stands for Youth Enterprise with Innovation in Nigeria. It is an innovative business plan competition aimed at job creation by encouraging and supporting aspiring entrepreneurial youth in Nigeria to develop and execute business ideas. The accomplishments of the 1,200 YouWiN! awardees were celebrated at the Presidential Villa on April 12, 2012. YouWiN! Women was the second edition of the entrepreneurial scheme, which was designed for only female entrepreneurs aged 45 years or less. 

Price to won: 10,000,000naira (ten millionnaira!)

First we wish you to understand that the aim of the scheme is entirely different in value and goal and aim than the nominal business growth and ROI growth plan. So therefore while a nominal business is entirely considering how it can increase sales and income and bring it's break even analysis more closer, the YouWin is considering the following:
1. How does your business affect the community it is in. 2. How many of the local youths can it emply. 3. What's the new innovation your business has got to bring in the sphere, different from the regular businesses in the sector? 4. Okay the break even point of the business may not be as rapid as a nominal business, but how early would the business that point? And many more questions...

Who Can Apply:

1. Nigerians of not less than 18years old.
2. With a post secondary school education. 
3. Have a proposed business idea and a well written business plan that will operate in Nigeria and employ Nigerians 
4. Apply for your funds now.

What is a Business Plan: 

 A Business plan is a written document of the system and profile 

of a given business, showing a projection or

estimate of how much success the business will 

make over a given period of time. 

     This includes research in marketing, the

product dynamics and then most importantly is

the financial projections of the business. It has

to be organized and follow an ordered 

sequence.

Writing Your Business Plan:

Let us do that for you! 
We are a team experts in business development and past winners of the YouWIn 2011 which was the first of it's kind. Also last year, we mentored over 7ladies who 5 of them won the grant.
Most  of us, with over 3years in the world of business development, with our lead consultant as an American Competitive Intelligence Professional, a British Council Business Language expert, a Lead Consultant for 8RG Consulting in Nigeria an International Consulting firm, APTECH Business Ambassador in India, CETPA Business Ambassador, India, we believe we got what it takes to you give the right head for your proposed business plan to win the grant. For the following reasons:
1. We have in store the questionnaires already, so that you get them far before other competitors get it. 2. We have in our team two past winners. See pictures above. Check out: http://www.beeenterprises.com.ng/. 3. We are experts in the field of business development and consulting. ALso, we have experriences from several multinational and local firms, including: a. LoveWorld Sat, Johannesburg, South Africa. b. CETPA Infotech, NOIDA, India c. APTECH, Mumbai, India d. Erdge tricycles, Warri e. 8RG Consulting, Lagos etc. We know all it takes to put a never-ignore business plan. Do you know your business plan must contain key elements like:
- Executive Summary - Objective - Mission - Keys to success - Company Summary - Products and Services - Market analysis summary - Strategy and implementation summary - Web plan summary - Management Summary - Financial Plan
To make the best impression for this year's YouWin or even on banks and investors, your business plan should be presented in the standard business plan format. Your business plan should be what the panelists or a banker or venture capitalist expects to see, presented in the order they expect to see it in. Following a standard business plan outline will keep you on track, and save you from botching your best chance at getting your business funded.

Registering Your Business:

You would need to register your business, although it is not compulsory at the beginning and not having your proposed business idea registered doesn't dis-qualify you, but puts you in a sure pedestal though. Want to register your business in just 7days? Then get in touch just in time.

How Much:

You don't have to be scared! Why should you? The scheme of 10,000,000naira is entirely free, so why should we charge you too high? But for #7,500naira we don't think that would be too much. Now it's more or less a peasant, but considering the fact that you wouldn't be buoyant enough in the first place to run your business on your own, or raise a capital for yourself, that is why we have made it this cheap! All you have to do is write me us the business idea, which I we promise never to steal and then I shall do the rest in 7days! For entire mentorship for the duration of the scheme including access to the questions long before they come to the others: #12,500, a business name registration in 7days: #25,000 and for a LTD company: #120,000.
Pay into: 8RG Business Solutions: GTBank(0128573418)                                                First Bank(2023038989)
                                       
         And call us on: +2348136332835
         BBPin: 327956C8
Send your business idea story to: 8rg.biz@gmail.com

Dead Line:

August 31st, 2013. Please note that if you wish a rapid development of your business plan then you have to start processing far before this date to ensure your application is completed and submitted in time. All other dates shall be announced hereafter.

Submission and Selection:

After I shall have completed the business plan just in time, then I shall go on to guide you in the submission process, by opening an account via: www.youwin,org.ng and submitting your application right on. Selection is based on the geo-political zone of your business and over 1,000 applicants are usually selected. It also takes here, understanding the dynamics of the selection and avoiding the most populated and competitive zones to get selected, all that I know very well and would put in place for you to be selected. Just get in touch with me and let's do it together. 

The President's Support:

President Jonathan Goodluck is a long-time supporter of YouWiN!. In his budget speech in 2011, President Jonathan Goodluck said:

“Unemployment among our youth is one of our biggest challenges. The time has come to create jobs (and) lay a new foundation for Nigeria’s economic growth” 

2012 Awardees Thank Government:

A group of YouWiN! 1 Awardees decided to share their success stories through a courtesy visit to the Ministry of Finance on the 1^st of July 2013. This event was graced by the Honorable Minister of Finance and Co-ordinating Minister for the Economy ,Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala who received the awardees warmly with words of encouragement and admiration for the various success stories and products offered for exhibition.

The event afforded awardees the opportunity to show appreciation to the Federal Government for the impact the programme has made on their businesses, personal life and the small/medium scale industry in general.

Official website: https://www.youwin.org.ng/