As a pastor and a Christian write, my views would be strictly preachy and straight from the Holy Bible:
Masturbation is not much talked about today, but pornography, abortion, and homosexuality are issues that surface almost everyday in discussions about human sexuality. For example, questions like, "Should gay marriages be allowed?", "Should pornography be banned?" and "Should abortion be legalised?" have had conflicting responses. Just as these issues are of concern to most people, especially Christians, so is masturbation an issue of concern to many Christians, especially the youth who wish they really know the Bible's position on whether masturbation is good or bad.
There are many similar and different thoughts (religious, scientific, medical, social, educational, etc.) on the issue of whether masturbation is a vice or virtue. My purpose here is to examine what the Bible has to say since it is the final authoritative word for us Christians. In addition, I will make comments on some of the common reasons for masturbating, and also look at some non-scriptural reasons not to masturbate.
MASTURBATION IS NOT ONANISM
Unlike homosexuality (Gen. 19:5-8; Lev. 18:22; Rom. 1:24, 26, 27), fornication (Acts 15:29; 1 Cor. 6:18), and adultery (Ex. 20:14; Jer. 23:14; Mt. 5:32), "masturbation is not mentioned in the Jewish Scriptures or in the New Testament." (Phipps, 1977:190)
Although the Bible contains laws (Leviticus 15) concerning the discharge of semen, nowhere in the Bible do you find the words masturbate or masturbation or any act(s) related to them. However, it is popularly believed that Onan's act of coitus interruptus is a masturbatory act. Phipps states that:
In medieval Judaism, masturbation came to be regarded as a grave offence. In the Talmud it is associated with Onan who, according to Genesis, was slain by God for spilling his semen on the ground. (1977:184)
Phipps wrongly paraphrases from Genesis when he states that Onan was slain by God for spilling his semen on the ground. That wasn't the actual problem God had with Onan. Onan was punished because he did not fulfil his duty to produce an offspring for his brother (Gen. 38:9, 10, NIV) by withdrawing before emission (coitus interruptus).
If Onan should have used a condom (assuming condoms existed in those days) and not spilled his semen on the ground, he would still have offended God since he would be preventing Tamar from conceiving. Should he also have had sexual intercourse alright and not spilled semen on the ground but given Tamar some herbs to avert the possibility of conceiving, that too would have been an offense against God since he would be denying a child to his dead brother.
In the Old Testament it was required for a man to marry the wife of his deceased brother in order for the deceased brother to have an heir (Gen. 38:8; Deut. 25:5; Mt. 22:23, 24), and in order to preserve the name of his brother (Deut. 25:6). After reasoning with the elders, a man who was not willing to marry his deceased brother's wife was spat on, and his sandals removed from his feet by the widow (Deut. 25:7-9).
From then, the man's family was called "the family of the man whose sandal was pulled off!" (Deut. 25:10) This tells us that Onan could have refused marriage to Tamar in order not to fulfil the vows that came with it (Deut. 23:22). I assume that apart from his unwillingness to raise seed on behalf of his brother, Onan was fearful of the societal stigma that would accompany the refusal to marry his deceased brother's wife (Deut. 25:7-10), hence, his acceptance of the marriage.
But as long as he agreed to marry Tamar, he was obliged to honour God's command and the vows that accompanied the marriage (Deut. 23:21). Refusing to fulfil one's vow to the Lord but rebel against Him is sin (Deut. 23:21, 23). And this was the sin Onan committedhe broke his vow to procreate an heir for his dead brother.
Onan's act of coitus interruptus was just an interruption of sexual intercourse and not a masturbatory act. It involved the spilling of semen upon reaching orgasm through sexual intercourse and not a spilling of semen through self-stimulation, in which case it would have been masturbation. It is therefore wrong to associate Onan with masturbation.
NOT MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE?
One may ask, "If masturbation is not mentioned in the Holy Bible, does that not mean that God approves of it?" Put in a declarative statement, such a question would read: "Since masturbation is not mentioned in the Bible, it is okay to assume that God approves of it." In other words, one will be saying that if something is not mentioned in the Bible, then it affirms that silence means consent. But to think or argue in such a manner is illogical.
Does it mean that the Bible's silence on an issue makes it right even if it is wrong? Then pornography will of course be right since it is not clearly presented in the Bible. But we all know that pornography promotes lust, fornication, adultery, and wasteful spending; and this is wrong. An act is wrong or right not because the Bible says it is wrong or right; an act is wrong or right because it is wrong or right in itself. To borrow the words of one of my lecturers; "Is toffee liked because it is sweet, or is it sweet because it is liked?" The Bible approves what is right because it is right and not that what is right is right because the Bible approves of it.
Indeed, it may look surprising how masturbation is not mentioned in the Bible but reference is made of other sexual behaviours. Nevertheless, such an omission shouldn't be assumed to mean that masturbation is a right practice. I do not agree with Phipps when he mentions that "it is safe to assume that its omission displays that its practice was of no moral ... concern to the many writers of books now called the Bible." (1977:183)
Masturbatory acts are done secretly and so probably it would have been difficult for this act to be known unless it is reported by the person(s) committing the act. The writers of the Bible may not have noticed this practice in the lives of the believers, unlike prostitution, adultery and fornication which were obvious (Jgs. 11:1; 16:1; Prov. 7:10; Jn. 8:3, 4; 1 Cor. 5:1; 2 Cor. 12:21).
Moreover, the same writers of the Bible frowned upon sexual immorality and lust, and we know that masturbation is normally associated with lust and sexual immorality. How then would they have kept silent if they knew this? The only answers to this question would either be that they were ignorant of the practice in the lives of believers because of its secrecy, or they had included masturbation in the group of sins known as sexual immorality or uncleanness.
Note that in the Old Testament uncleanness is associated with the discharge of semen or menstrual blood (Lev. 15; Ez. 36:17; 2 Sam. 11:4), filthiness (Ezra 9:11), abominable things (Lev. 7:21; 2 Chron. 29:16), dislikeable things (Deut. 24:1) and sin (Ez. 39:24; Zech. 13:1). In the New Testament all references to uncleanness where made concerning filthiness (Mt. 23:27), lust (Rom. 1:24; 2 Pet. 2:10), impure motives (1 Thes. 2:4) and sin (Rom. 6:19; 2 Cor. 12:21; Gal. 5:19; Eph. 4:19; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; 1 Th. 4:7). In fact, to assume that masturbation was of no moral concern to the writers of the Bible due to its omission in the Bible is illogical.
DOES THE BIBLE SAY ANYTHING?
When the Bible talks about sexual immorality, it includes fornication, adultery, lust, homosexuality, lesbianism, and pornography. What about masturbation? To be able to determine if masturbation qualifies to fall within this category, we need to examine what masturbatory practice entails.
Even though people masturbate for various reasons such as for medical tests, avoiding loneliness, relieving anxiety, exploring one's sexuality, and relieving frustration and mental strain, the primary reason for masturbating is to satisfy sexual desire whether without sex or during sexual intercourse.
All the activities that fall under sexual immorality have the goal of fulfilling lustful desires. Masturbation does same. Even if one masturbates to release tension as some would say, there is a latent function which is that masturbation satisfies one's sexual urge; and this leads us back to the primary goal of masturbation which is fulfilling one's fleshly lusts. Hence, the individual sows to fleshly desires instead of sowing to the Spirit's desires (Gal. 6:8).This is not of God for the Bible says, "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." (1 Jn. 2:16, KJV).
Masturbatory acts are normally associated with the viewing of pornography or any sexually explicit material, the creation of a mental picture of a nude 'object of attraction' (fantasizing) or the recollection of a sexual activity or nakedness that the person has seen. The individual thus lusts after the 'object of attraction' in his or her memory, hence committing adultery in his heart already: "But I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Mt. 5:28, KJV).
Some people argue that it is possible to masturbate without viewing pornography or fantasizing. Yes, I believe this is possible. But there are still others who argue that as long as they do not lust or fantasize or release semen and vaginal fluid when masturbating, they have not sinned. The problem is they do not understand the meaning of lust, for when one responds to one's sexual desires in order to release sexual pleasure by stimulating self, it is also lusting. The Bible admonishes us to "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Tim. 2:22, KJV)
Moreover, compulsive masturbation creates an addictive effect on the individual and causes the person to be mastered by it. This now takes the centre of the individual's life, destroying the fellowship he has with God. The person becomes a slave to sin as masturbation becomes an idol in his or her life and opens the door for other sinful practices (Rom. 6:16).
Derek Iannelli-Smith defines addiction as "What people are convinced of, worshiping, trusting, and looking for, to please, appease, and substitute through deception, either spiritual or self-induced, in which one's chief affections, passions, cravings and devotion decreases one's trust in, loyalty, worship and love of and to God." (Ministering to those in Pornography, Masturbation, and Impurity, www.faithwriters.com)
When masturbation takes over God's place in your life, you become an idolater since you have transferred your devotion for God to masturbation or your 'object of attraction' (Exo. 20:3-5). The Bible informs us: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Cor. 6:9, 10, KJV).
Sexual idolatry defiles God's temple, our body, and opens doors for demonic activities in our lives. The effect is that it steals from us the joy of living a fruitful and a spirit-filled Christian life. Instead of allowing our bodies to be defiled by sin, we should hold on to Paul's admonishment in Romans 6:12-13: "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God."
RESPONDING TO THE BASELESS EXCUSES
People give various reasons to justify masturbation, but as Christians our ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Let us examine the most common reasons why people masturbate.
One reason is to maintain self-control (Brooks, 1967:822). If you are masturbating to maintain self-control, you are out of control, because already you cannot control yourself. You have just found 'a better way' of justifying your lack of control over your lustful and sexual desires. A better thing to do is to marry if you have reached maturity in life and can live up to the responsibilities of marriage (1 Cor. 7:8, 9).
But it doesn't mean that if you are struggling with lust, marriage will solve your problem. What happens if you travel without your spouse and your sexual urge beckons you? The best thing to do is to deal with lust once and for all by submitting yourself to God and putting your mind to thinking purely (Php. 4:8), while avoiding unwholesome movies, pictures, songs, and conversations that will arouse in you sexual desire.
Another reason is to explore one's sexuality. Nature has made certain things obvious to us concerning our sexuality and this should suffice, especially for the unmarried. Exploration of your sexuality by any other means that displeases God must be avoided. There are a lot of things to learn about yourself in order to reach maturity and be prepared for life; and your sexuality is just a minute portion of it. When you are married, you can explore with your spouse as far as you can go; God designed sex to be enjoyed in marriage (Heb. 13:4).
A common excuse is, "If pre-marital sex is sinful, why not satisfy my sexual desire by masturbating?" Thus some people masturbate to satisfy sexual desire without having sex. The obvious disadvantage is that "masturbation is a lesser good than sexual intercourse ..." (Phipps, 1977:193) A more important thing to note is that these people commit sin to avoid sinning, which is unreasonable.
The right thing to do is to do right; sinning to avoid sin is wrong. These people pattern their minds to think that it is impossible to control self. Such thinking is not of God. "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Rom. 12:2, KJV) Self-control is one of the fruit of the Spirit and this must be evident in the life of the Christian (Gal. 5:22).
A less common excuse is to avoid loneliness or relieve anxiety and frustration (Brooks, 1967:822, 823). Loneliness, anxiety, and frustration can be dealt with through other means such as making friends and involving oneself in other activities with fellow believers. The best medicine is to have a consistent fellowship with God: "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isa. 26:3, KJV)
NON-SCRIPTURAL REASONS NOT TO MASTURBATE
There is no established scientific evidence that masturbation causes harm physically or mentally (Phipps, 1977:189; Arafat & Cotton, 1974:294. See also Brooks, 1967:820. Nevertheless, physical harm can be caused when objects such as ball point pens, thermometers, etc. are inserted into the urethra during masturbation.
Compulsive masturbatory behaviour "... can become a substitute for other outlets to relieve tensions and anxieties that are not in the main sexually derivedfor example, concern over one's schoolwork, rejection by peers, and uncertainties about self-worth." (Arafat & Cotton, 1974:294) This normally occurs when one has reached an addictive stage. Addiction to masturbation results from "an increased frequency of the habit and a never-ending search for new material to enhance the experience." (Cook, 2007)
In addition, masturbation deprives the individual of the quality time he needs to spend on the important issues of his life. As the individual seeks to satisfy sexual urge, attention is given to new ways of experiencing higher forms of sexual excitement. If the individual has access to the internet and is alone, it could be a place to find new material and new ways of fulfilling his or her desires. This self-centredness makes him/her give less attention to certain details of his/her life such as family, job, finances, and time management. It puts his/her daily activities in disarray, and this creates an imbalance in his/her life.
According to Dearborn, "... some forms of masturbation ... may act as a drawback to marriage adjustment ... because the transition from that particular form of masturbation to acquiring satisfaction in intercourse may become difficult." (1952:54) He makes the following observations in females and males who masturbate:
Those girls who have denied themselves the direct form of masturbation and have used substitute measures, such as various forms of pressure, as breast rubbing, etc., often force themselves to stop just prior to orgasm because they have a fear of the orgasm itself, having conceived an idea that the wrong or harm lies in the release. In such cases or in any case where orgasm has been suppressed, the girl may have
developed a habit of non-response and may carry this over into her marital relations. Later, such a one will report that she has little or no satisfaction in coitus and lacks ability to come to a climax. (1952:54, 55)
... the male who has masturbated with a sense of guilt which has driven him to get it over as soon as possible and to suppress any accompanying fantasy is likely in consequence to find himself bothered in early marriage by premature ejaculation.(1952:55)
A possible reason for the above observations is found in Paul Cook's article, "Freedom from Masturbation", in which he warns against indulging in masturbation:
The hormones released in the brain during sexual arousal cause a bonding to whatever we are looking at and/or thinking about at the time. This can cause us to be more sexually responsive to masturbation (and its associated fantasies) than to real sex.
Masturbation is not much talked about today, but pornography, abortion, and homosexuality are issues that surface almost everyday in discussions about human sexuality. For example, questions like, "Should gay marriages be allowed?", "Should pornography be banned?" and "Should abortion be legalised?" have had conflicting responses. Just as these issues are of concern to most people, especially Christians, so is masturbation an issue of concern to many Christians, especially the youth who wish they really know the Bible's position on whether masturbation is good or bad.
There are many similar and different thoughts (religious, scientific, medical, social, educational, etc.) on the issue of whether masturbation is a vice or virtue. My purpose here is to examine what the Bible has to say since it is the final authoritative word for us Christians. In addition, I will make comments on some of the common reasons for masturbating, and also look at some non-scriptural reasons not to masturbate.
MASTURBATION IS NOT ONANISM
Unlike homosexuality (Gen. 19:5-8; Lev. 18:22; Rom. 1:24, 26, 27), fornication (Acts 15:29; 1 Cor. 6:18), and adultery (Ex. 20:14; Jer. 23:14; Mt. 5:32), "masturbation is not mentioned in the Jewish Scriptures or in the New Testament." (Phipps, 1977:190)
Although the Bible contains laws (Leviticus 15) concerning the discharge of semen, nowhere in the Bible do you find the words masturbate or masturbation or any act(s) related to them. However, it is popularly believed that Onan's act of coitus interruptus is a masturbatory act. Phipps states that:
In medieval Judaism, masturbation came to be regarded as a grave offence. In the Talmud it is associated with Onan who, according to Genesis, was slain by God for spilling his semen on the ground. (1977:184)
Phipps wrongly paraphrases from Genesis when he states that Onan was slain by God for spilling his semen on the ground. That wasn't the actual problem God had with Onan. Onan was punished because he did not fulfil his duty to produce an offspring for his brother (Gen. 38:9, 10, NIV) by withdrawing before emission (coitus interruptus).
If Onan should have used a condom (assuming condoms existed in those days) and not spilled his semen on the ground, he would still have offended God since he would be preventing Tamar from conceiving. Should he also have had sexual intercourse alright and not spilled semen on the ground but given Tamar some herbs to avert the possibility of conceiving, that too would have been an offense against God since he would be denying a child to his dead brother.
In the Old Testament it was required for a man to marry the wife of his deceased brother in order for the deceased brother to have an heir (Gen. 38:8; Deut. 25:5; Mt. 22:23, 24), and in order to preserve the name of his brother (Deut. 25:6). After reasoning with the elders, a man who was not willing to marry his deceased brother's wife was spat on, and his sandals removed from his feet by the widow (Deut. 25:7-9).
From then, the man's family was called "the family of the man whose sandal was pulled off!" (Deut. 25:10) This tells us that Onan could have refused marriage to Tamar in order not to fulfil the vows that came with it (Deut. 23:22). I assume that apart from his unwillingness to raise seed on behalf of his brother, Onan was fearful of the societal stigma that would accompany the refusal to marry his deceased brother's wife (Deut. 25:7-10), hence, his acceptance of the marriage.
But as long as he agreed to marry Tamar, he was obliged to honour God's command and the vows that accompanied the marriage (Deut. 23:21). Refusing to fulfil one's vow to the Lord but rebel against Him is sin (Deut. 23:21, 23). And this was the sin Onan committedhe broke his vow to procreate an heir for his dead brother.
Onan's act of coitus interruptus was just an interruption of sexual intercourse and not a masturbatory act. It involved the spilling of semen upon reaching orgasm through sexual intercourse and not a spilling of semen through self-stimulation, in which case it would have been masturbation. It is therefore wrong to associate Onan with masturbation.
NOT MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE?
One may ask, "If masturbation is not mentioned in the Holy Bible, does that not mean that God approves of it?" Put in a declarative statement, such a question would read: "Since masturbation is not mentioned in the Bible, it is okay to assume that God approves of it." In other words, one will be saying that if something is not mentioned in the Bible, then it affirms that silence means consent. But to think or argue in such a manner is illogical.
Does it mean that the Bible's silence on an issue makes it right even if it is wrong? Then pornography will of course be right since it is not clearly presented in the Bible. But we all know that pornography promotes lust, fornication, adultery, and wasteful spending; and this is wrong. An act is wrong or right not because the Bible says it is wrong or right; an act is wrong or right because it is wrong or right in itself. To borrow the words of one of my lecturers; "Is toffee liked because it is sweet, or is it sweet because it is liked?" The Bible approves what is right because it is right and not that what is right is right because the Bible approves of it.
Indeed, it may look surprising how masturbation is not mentioned in the Bible but reference is made of other sexual behaviours. Nevertheless, such an omission shouldn't be assumed to mean that masturbation is a right practice. I do not agree with Phipps when he mentions that "it is safe to assume that its omission displays that its practice was of no moral ... concern to the many writers of books now called the Bible." (1977:183)
Masturbatory acts are done secretly and so probably it would have been difficult for this act to be known unless it is reported by the person(s) committing the act. The writers of the Bible may not have noticed this practice in the lives of the believers, unlike prostitution, adultery and fornication which were obvious (Jgs. 11:1; 16:1; Prov. 7:10; Jn. 8:3, 4; 1 Cor. 5:1; 2 Cor. 12:21).
Moreover, the same writers of the Bible frowned upon sexual immorality and lust, and we know that masturbation is normally associated with lust and sexual immorality. How then would they have kept silent if they knew this? The only answers to this question would either be that they were ignorant of the practice in the lives of believers because of its secrecy, or they had included masturbation in the group of sins known as sexual immorality or uncleanness.
Note that in the Old Testament uncleanness is associated with the discharge of semen or menstrual blood (Lev. 15; Ez. 36:17; 2 Sam. 11:4), filthiness (Ezra 9:11), abominable things (Lev. 7:21; 2 Chron. 29:16), dislikeable things (Deut. 24:1) and sin (Ez. 39:24; Zech. 13:1). In the New Testament all references to uncleanness where made concerning filthiness (Mt. 23:27), lust (Rom. 1:24; 2 Pet. 2:10), impure motives (1 Thes. 2:4) and sin (Rom. 6:19; 2 Cor. 12:21; Gal. 5:19; Eph. 4:19; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; 1 Th. 4:7). In fact, to assume that masturbation was of no moral concern to the writers of the Bible due to its omission in the Bible is illogical.
DOES THE BIBLE SAY ANYTHING?
When the Bible talks about sexual immorality, it includes fornication, adultery, lust, homosexuality, lesbianism, and pornography. What about masturbation? To be able to determine if masturbation qualifies to fall within this category, we need to examine what masturbatory practice entails.
Even though people masturbate for various reasons such as for medical tests, avoiding loneliness, relieving anxiety, exploring one's sexuality, and relieving frustration and mental strain, the primary reason for masturbating is to satisfy sexual desire whether without sex or during sexual intercourse.
All the activities that fall under sexual immorality have the goal of fulfilling lustful desires. Masturbation does same. Even if one masturbates to release tension as some would say, there is a latent function which is that masturbation satisfies one's sexual urge; and this leads us back to the primary goal of masturbation which is fulfilling one's fleshly lusts. Hence, the individual sows to fleshly desires instead of sowing to the Spirit's desires (Gal. 6:8).This is not of God for the Bible says, "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." (1 Jn. 2:16, KJV).
Masturbatory acts are normally associated with the viewing of pornography or any sexually explicit material, the creation of a mental picture of a nude 'object of attraction' (fantasizing) or the recollection of a sexual activity or nakedness that the person has seen. The individual thus lusts after the 'object of attraction' in his or her memory, hence committing adultery in his heart already: "But I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Mt. 5:28, KJV).
Some people argue that it is possible to masturbate without viewing pornography or fantasizing. Yes, I believe this is possible. But there are still others who argue that as long as they do not lust or fantasize or release semen and vaginal fluid when masturbating, they have not sinned. The problem is they do not understand the meaning of lust, for when one responds to one's sexual desires in order to release sexual pleasure by stimulating self, it is also lusting. The Bible admonishes us to "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Tim. 2:22, KJV)
Moreover, compulsive masturbation creates an addictive effect on the individual and causes the person to be mastered by it. This now takes the centre of the individual's life, destroying the fellowship he has with God. The person becomes a slave to sin as masturbation becomes an idol in his or her life and opens the door for other sinful practices (Rom. 6:16).
Derek Iannelli-Smith defines addiction as "What people are convinced of, worshiping, trusting, and looking for, to please, appease, and substitute through deception, either spiritual or self-induced, in which one's chief affections, passions, cravings and devotion decreases one's trust in, loyalty, worship and love of and to God." (Ministering to those in Pornography, Masturbation, and Impurity, www.faithwriters.com)
When masturbation takes over God's place in your life, you become an idolater since you have transferred your devotion for God to masturbation or your 'object of attraction' (Exo. 20:3-5). The Bible informs us: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Cor. 6:9, 10, KJV).
Sexual idolatry defiles God's temple, our body, and opens doors for demonic activities in our lives. The effect is that it steals from us the joy of living a fruitful and a spirit-filled Christian life. Instead of allowing our bodies to be defiled by sin, we should hold on to Paul's admonishment in Romans 6:12-13: "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God."
RESPONDING TO THE BASELESS EXCUSES
People give various reasons to justify masturbation, but as Christians our ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Let us examine the most common reasons why people masturbate.
One reason is to maintain self-control (Brooks, 1967:822). If you are masturbating to maintain self-control, you are out of control, because already you cannot control yourself. You have just found 'a better way' of justifying your lack of control over your lustful and sexual desires. A better thing to do is to marry if you have reached maturity in life and can live up to the responsibilities of marriage (1 Cor. 7:8, 9).
But it doesn't mean that if you are struggling with lust, marriage will solve your problem. What happens if you travel without your spouse and your sexual urge beckons you? The best thing to do is to deal with lust once and for all by submitting yourself to God and putting your mind to thinking purely (Php. 4:8), while avoiding unwholesome movies, pictures, songs, and conversations that will arouse in you sexual desire.
Another reason is to explore one's sexuality. Nature has made certain things obvious to us concerning our sexuality and this should suffice, especially for the unmarried. Exploration of your sexuality by any other means that displeases God must be avoided. There are a lot of things to learn about yourself in order to reach maturity and be prepared for life; and your sexuality is just a minute portion of it. When you are married, you can explore with your spouse as far as you can go; God designed sex to be enjoyed in marriage (Heb. 13:4).
A common excuse is, "If pre-marital sex is sinful, why not satisfy my sexual desire by masturbating?" Thus some people masturbate to satisfy sexual desire without having sex. The obvious disadvantage is that "masturbation is a lesser good than sexual intercourse ..." (Phipps, 1977:193) A more important thing to note is that these people commit sin to avoid sinning, which is unreasonable.
The right thing to do is to do right; sinning to avoid sin is wrong. These people pattern their minds to think that it is impossible to control self. Such thinking is not of God. "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Rom. 12:2, KJV) Self-control is one of the fruit of the Spirit and this must be evident in the life of the Christian (Gal. 5:22).
A less common excuse is to avoid loneliness or relieve anxiety and frustration (Brooks, 1967:822, 823). Loneliness, anxiety, and frustration can be dealt with through other means such as making friends and involving oneself in other activities with fellow believers. The best medicine is to have a consistent fellowship with God: "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isa. 26:3, KJV)
NON-SCRIPTURAL REASONS NOT TO MASTURBATE
There is no established scientific evidence that masturbation causes harm physically or mentally (Phipps, 1977:189; Arafat & Cotton, 1974:294. See also Brooks, 1967:820. Nevertheless, physical harm can be caused when objects such as ball point pens, thermometers, etc. are inserted into the urethra during masturbation.
Compulsive masturbatory behaviour "... can become a substitute for other outlets to relieve tensions and anxieties that are not in the main sexually derivedfor example, concern over one's schoolwork, rejection by peers, and uncertainties about self-worth." (Arafat & Cotton, 1974:294) This normally occurs when one has reached an addictive stage. Addiction to masturbation results from "an increased frequency of the habit and a never-ending search for new material to enhance the experience." (Cook, 2007)
In addition, masturbation deprives the individual of the quality time he needs to spend on the important issues of his life. As the individual seeks to satisfy sexual urge, attention is given to new ways of experiencing higher forms of sexual excitement. If the individual has access to the internet and is alone, it could be a place to find new material and new ways of fulfilling his or her desires. This self-centredness makes him/her give less attention to certain details of his/her life such as family, job, finances, and time management. It puts his/her daily activities in disarray, and this creates an imbalance in his/her life.
According to Dearborn, "... some forms of masturbation ... may act as a drawback to marriage adjustment ... because the transition from that particular form of masturbation to acquiring satisfaction in intercourse may become difficult." (1952:54) He makes the following observations in females and males who masturbate:
Those girls who have denied themselves the direct form of masturbation and have used substitute measures, such as various forms of pressure, as breast rubbing, etc., often force themselves to stop just prior to orgasm because they have a fear of the orgasm itself, having conceived an idea that the wrong or harm lies in the release. In such cases or in any case where orgasm has been suppressed, the girl may have
developed a habit of non-response and may carry this over into her marital relations. Later, such a one will report that she has little or no satisfaction in coitus and lacks ability to come to a climax. (1952:54, 55)
... the male who has masturbated with a sense of guilt which has driven him to get it over as soon as possible and to suppress any accompanying fantasy is likely in consequence to find himself bothered in early marriage by premature ejaculation.(1952:55)
A possible reason for the above observations is found in Paul Cook's article, "Freedom from Masturbation", in which he warns against indulging in masturbation:
The hormones released in the brain during sexual arousal cause a bonding to whatever we are looking at and/or thinking about at the time. This can cause us to be more sexually responsive to masturbation (and its associated fantasies) than to real sex.
No comments:
Post a Comment