*------The Importance of Your 20Something Years (2)!-------*

Read Article 1

On the job, they need to calm down and get to work. Because the 20-something brain hasn’t fully matured and is still developing its frontal lobe, which is in charge of overriding emotion with reason, 20-somethings are more sensitive to surprise and criticism, says Jay. Day-to-day events loom larger in their minds. A terse email is taken personally. A boss’s disapproval elicits fear and contempt. Step back and get some perspective, she advises. “You’re not going to be fired because your boss is angry.”

Don’t be fooled: A still-developing brain is not an endorsement for waiting it out, Jay warns. On the contrary, she believes it’s one of a 20-something’s best assets. In the brain’s final growth spurt, learning will never again come so easily. The way you navigate professional landscapes and manage relationships in yours 20s becomes wired into your brain. If you want to change something about yourself, now’s the time to do it.

In the same way Jay cautions against undermining your career trajectory in your 20s, she worries that romantic relationships have also been downgraded to a new level of casualness. Today’s young people marry about five years later than their parents (on average, women at 26 and men at 28), but most will marry. About 75% of Americans are married by 35.

“The upside of marrying later is that we have the potential in our 20s to learn how to have better relationships,” Jay says, “which we can blow by dating around with people we don’t take seriously or living with someone we should never have moved in with.”

Cohabitation has rocketed 1,500% since 1960, with more than 7.5 million unmarried couples living together today. Jay says too often young couples don’t communicate clearly about what living together means for their relationship. It is often convenience, a test or an unspoken step toward marriage without any literal commitment. “It’s easier to get in than get out,” she warns, noting that cohabitation can slide into marriages that aren’t compatible but became too difficult to untangle.

Those that push back career and push back marriage, are also pushing against something with little give: their fertility. Young people have been told that they have years and years ahead to start a family. In reality, fertility drops significantly by age 35 and dramatically by 40. It’s not just a woman’s issue either. Not only is older sperm associated with problems, but when a woman can’t get pregnant, neither can her spouse. You don’t need to start your family in your 20s, but you’d be wise to plan ahead.

“This is a really critical period,” says Jay. “Relationships matter. Work matters. Your personality is changing. It sounds like a lot of pressure, but in my experience they know this is true and feel relieved when someone says, ‘I’m taking your life seriously.’”